Piecing Myself Together
A self-structured artist residency at A-Z West, Joshua Tree, CA.
Recently, I had the amazing opportunity to participate in a week-long Artist Residency at Andrea Zittel’s, A-Z West in Joshua Tree. Admittedly, when I first learned about the residency, I thought it would be incredible to be able to create in the space of an artistic legend, but then the thoughts that started popping up in my head were, “Residency’s are only for serious artists. I’m not an artist, and certainly not a serious one.”
“Creative, yes!”
“A designer, yes!”
“but Artist…? Uh-no, not me.”
And yet, the excitement of staying at A-Z west for a week, even in the intense July desert heat, soon outweighed my self-limiting thoughts and after a bit of self-reflection, I began to consider that actually, I have always been an artist on some level for most of my adult life. Yet, I realized I would often dismiss my post-college artistic tendencies as more of a fun hobby or the occasional school project for my son’s elementary school, nothing serious or worth noting.
So when I learned that my application for the Self Guided Residency had been approved, I quickly bypassed my self-limiting thoughts and thought, “Really, what do I have to lose?” Between my deep love for the high desert and the awe-inspiring work and creative influence of Andrea Zittel, I knew I could find my way back to my inner artist and just felt so grateful that I had actually manifested this opportunity for myself to be creative in whatever way that showed up.
When I arrived on that blazing hot Sunday afternoon, I pulled up to the guest cabin that would be my home for the week, unloaded the car and began to take notice of my surroundings and settle in. I wandered the property, taking in the glorious desert landscape, the flora and fauna and all the amazing examples of Andrea Zittel’s work and influence, (along with the a few other works by former residents and contributing artists,) found throughout the 80 acres of high desert land. From that first day, taking everything in, I intuitively felt that whatever I created this week, it definitely needed to incorporate the land in some capacity and to just trust that the inspiration would emerge in its own time.
The following day, after my sunrise walk in Joshua Tree National Park, I did another scan outside around my cabin and found a piece of gnarled bark that resembled an eye and it’s then that the idea to create a self portrait made exclusively of raw materials foraged from the land, took form.
Each day I collected scraps of discarded building materials, seashells from God knows where, rusty nails and bolts, beautiful stones, dried up ribbons and small plastic pieces, none of which felt like actual “trash” but more like the relics and remnants of former artists who had spent time on this land before me.
As I began working on my portrait, it was interesting for me to notice my thoughts while I was collecting and creating, considering pieces I chose and where they should go. For example, I found a beautiful blue stone and while I knew it wasn’t turquoise, in my mind, it represented turquoise, a powerful healing stone for the throat chakra, which is an important element for me considering I had lost my voice years ago to a paralyzed vocal cord, and the journey of “finding my voice” again, in all it’s forms, has been an important one for me ever since.
Art as an escape from the world, that's wrong. But escape is what most people want. Art should be a confrontation with a 'me' that is always in need of improving.”
Noah Purifoy (assemblage artist)
In an effort to tap into all the amazing local resources in Joshua Tree, I planned daily outings to the park as well as other inspiring locations throughout the desert, which included the Noah Purifoy Outdoor Desert Museum and a new discovery for me the Highway Sanctuary an artist residency in Flamingo Heights, both of which were so inspiring and influential as I continued to work on my portrait along with some other smaller projects. My time in the desert, focused and intentional on the making of things, reawakened my passion to create again, and reminded me of the value gained when we trust ourselves to follow our unique inner guide and see what unfolds.
Before I departed, I chose to dismantle the large scale art piece I had spent the week creating, reflecting on the impermanence of time and our own lives and returned the found materials back to the land and the ecosystem they were part of. Closing the loop on my week-long experience in the desert and yet, opening myself up to a whole world of creative, artistic, expansive possibilities.
As I now reflect on my week of creating art and solo desert time during my brief residency, I thought I’d share some of the insights that came up for me that go well beyond the process of creating.
My top 10 takeaways and reminders from my week artist residency.
Time alone is time aware. If we allow ourselves the time to be present with ourselves, without external distractions, it’s amazing how present and intentional that voice inside becomes, guiding us to where we need to go.
We already have everything we need. Admittedly I came a bit ill-prepared for my residency, bringing only minimal art supplies with me, but I quickly learned everything I needed was already available to me. Make do with less.
Make time to create. Whatever your chosen art medium is. The act of creating is an incredible resource for on-going self expression and self discovery.
Say YES!
If not now, when? This came up for me constantly during my year on the road. Instead of living in a state of fear or worry, I kept reminding myself to trust the process and to do the things I love while I have the time and resources. It will (had has) all worked out.
Go to those places that feed your spirit as often as possible.
Question your own self-limiting thoughts. Break down those barriers and do the thing(s) you never thought possible because at the end of the day, nothing matters except the meaning you give it.
Hydrate. I constantly have to remind myself of this one.
Find your Expanders. Surround yourself with people who elevate your thinking, your actions and inspire you to be better. And let go of those who minimize you.
Practice gratitude daily. The universe likes, no, LOVES it when we appreciate the gifts we receive. (even the hard stuff that serve as deep and necessary lessons!)
And in the spirit of deep gratitude, thank you, thank you, thank you, most sincerely for following along, and supporting me as I continue to explore and share this unique journey of self discovery and adventure, one roadtrip at a time.
And now for a little Desert Magic.
This piece is a beautiful meditation on your time at the artist residency. Your decision to dismantle your self-portrait at the end reminds me of the tradition of sand mandalas, where the monks who have mindfully created the intricate and beautiful work end with a ceremony returning the sand to the sea. You have always been an artist, and always will be.
Isn't it funny how we see ourselves? In my mind you've always occupied space as an artist whether or not it's found on your CV. Your willingness to allow the pregnancy of a moment to guide you
instinctually is inspiring. The worlds you create and hold for others to process and to understand their own are always a gentle nudge toward something more rooted, more clear and deeply earthen -- and a nod toward the future you keep creating. Beautiful as always, Wanda.